Adoption day: Kristen DeForge with her daughter Jenna Kimball.
By Tiffani Bourque
Each year, one person from every state is recognized with the Angels in Adoption Awardfor making a significant impact in the world of foster care and adoption. When Kristen DeForge of Sanford learned she had been selected as Maine’s honoree, she was stunned.
This September, she’ll travel to Washington, D.C., to meet with lawmakers and advocate for improvements in the foster care system—particularly for one group she believes is too often overlooked: teenagers. She sees the award as an opportunity to spread the word about the needs of teenagers in the foster care system.
Her journey into foster care began more than 20 years ago with a simple question.
While working as a probation and parole officer in Vermont, DeForge noticed children sitting in the Department of Human Services office with large trash bags beside them, waiting for somewhere to go. Curious, she asked who they were. Shortly afterward, she met a teenage girl quietly coloring while waiting for placement. She took the girl to lunch, and what began as a simple act of kindness quickly became a lifelong calling.
“I had plenty of space in my home,” DeForge recalled, “and in my heart.”
Twenty-one years later, she has fostered more than 30 children, adopted three, and remains in contact with almost all of the young people who have passed through her home. Those relationships have grown to include grandchildren, holiday traditions, summer camping trips, and the everyday phone calls families share. One former foster daughter, now in her 30s, still calls her for motherly advice—even for something as ordinary as a stubbed toe.
Those lifelong connections are exactly why DeForge wishes more people would consider opening their homes to teenagers.
“When people think about adoption, they often picture babies,” she said. “But teenagers need the same reassurance and nurturing as younger children.” She describes them as remarkably resilient, despite experiences that would challenge most adults.
According to DeForge, one of the biggest misconceptions is that older youth somehow need families less. In reality, many teenagers in foster care have spent years moving from one placement to another—sometimes experiencing 10, or even 20 different homes before reaching adulthood. More than anything, they crave stability and someone willing to stay through the difficult moments.
That commitment, she says, doesn’t end when a child turns 18.
Family means having someone to call during life’s milestones, celebrating holidays together, building traditions, and knowing there will always be a place to come home to. “I want to be that person for all of my kids,” she said.
DeForge is also honest about the realities of fostering teenagers. Many have experienced significant trauma, and certain days—birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, holidays, or the first day of school—can bring complicated emotions to the surface. Over the years, she has learned that healing takes patience, flexibility, and an understanding that every young person responds differently.
“You can’t parent them all the same,” she said. “Everyone is in different places.”
Still, she wouldn’t trade the experience.
“It is worth it to see these kids finally have stability and thrive,” she said. “They have so many talents and qualities that you may not think a child could have after everything they’ve been through.”
If there is one message DeForge hopes people take away from her receiving the Angels in Adoption Award, it has little to do with her own recognition.
Instead, she hopes it shines a light on the urgent need for families willing to welcome teenagers. Every day, she said, teens spend the night in hotels or temporary placements because there simply isn’t a foster home available. Even those who cannot foster full time can make a difference through respite care or by becoming a trusted, supportive adult in a young person’s life.
“These kids aren’t looking for perfect parents,” DeForge said. “They’re looking for someone who will stay.”
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